Quotes by : Alan King

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

That's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke,....

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some....

My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags,....

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

There's a charm, there's a rhythm, there's a soul to Jewish humor. When I first saw Richard Pryor perform,....

When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like....

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly,....

My mother's sister was killed in a trolley car accident, so I was raised as one of eight with my sister....

My wife is a very attractive woman, and she's always worried about her diet. But she doesn't pay attention....