Quotes by : Alan King

Comedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a....

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

We get the worrywart, the hypochondriac, the money-grubbing miser, the intractable negotiator... Some....

My father was a dreamer - my hero. He was a smart, tough guy from Poland, a cutter of lady's handbags,....

When I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like....

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly,....

I learned to cook in self-defense. My wife doesn't know what a kitchen is. In the first month of our....

And humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make....

If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate books.

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.