Quotes by : Andy Rooney

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.

I just wish this social institution [religion] wasn't based on what appears to me to be a monumental....

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability....

Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great....

the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a....

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged it makes me think that the chef is spending too much....

It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old....

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place....

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day.....