Quotes by : Andy Rooney

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out....

I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I just wish this social institution [religion] wasn't based on what appears to me to be a monumental....

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability....

The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing....

Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin.....

It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old....

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect,....

If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family....

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every....