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Author - Demetri Martin
Quotes by : Demetri Martin
Me
I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
this is a book
Socrates became a trendsetter. Other philosophers, including Plato and Aristotle and Gus, quickly followed....
Breakfast
I like to use 'I Can't Believe it's Not Butter' on my toast in the morning, because sometimes when I....
Women
I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met....
comedian
Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say... sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of... it doesn't really....
wit
Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.
demetri martin
It is illegal to yell “fire” in a crowded theater. If there is a fire, please yell something else....
crafts
Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.
humour
Like a lot of people, I’ve always enjoyed commenting on strangers’ outfits. Unlike a lot of people,....
Happy
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said....
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