Quotes by : Elayne Boosler

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car,....

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times men would....

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.....

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers....

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually....

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.