Quotes by : Elayne Boosler

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different....

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car,....

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times men would....

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how....

I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers....

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually....

I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be....