Quotes by : Erma Bombeck

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were....

When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if....

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they....

In Russia, as I sat there day after day wearing headphones, listening to the interpreter struggle to....

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent....