Quotes by : Erma Bombeck

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three....

Once you get a spice in your home, you have it forever. Women never throw out spices. The Egyptians were....

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes,....

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food

It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband....

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent....

There was a time when the one singular thing that held a marriage together was the threat of getting....