Quotes by : J. Richard Singleton

If there's one thing I know about women, it's that they have vaginas.

You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape.

I love animals, especially with barbeque sauce.

You have to think if we've been visited by extraterrestrial life, it was like a zookeeper walking into....

I try not to let other people's problems problem me.

That's crazier than a boatload of prostitutes!

[Truman] didn’t want to fight the guy, whatever he was—alien, vampyr or douchebag.

The truth is like sunlight: It causes cancer.

No man wants his daughter to be the kind of girl whom he liked in high school.

Los Angeles is a city made up of refugees from better cities.