Quotes by : Joan Rivers

Comedy is learning to be funny, and you learn to be funny in small rooms with young audiences.

Laughing made me feel safe. I was not going to be enveloped by the seediness that coated this world like....

People say it is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money you can....

The act of creation fascinates me. You can only sit with blank page and wait. You cannot press a button,....

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty.

Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore.....

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.

Everything comes out of smoke and mist and nothingness, a mystical happening…