Quotes by : Johnny Carson

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself,....

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he....

If life was fair Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.

I know a man who gave up smoking drinking sex and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he....

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless....

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.....