Quotes by : Johnny Carson

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he....

For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

I know a man who gave up smoking drinking sex and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he....

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless....

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.....