Quotes by : Karl Pilkington

The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.....

I think happiness is a bit like a cake. If you have cake every single day of your life you'll get sick....

The problem is, these days you have to listen to too many parts of your body. Sometimes I go with my....

I was woken early and had breakfast with the guru. We had some spicy Rice Krispies and a spicy biscuit....

I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and....

I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're....

And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.

The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got....

I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise....

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.