Quotes by : Mike Birbiglia

When I was starting out, I thought I would go into comedy and there would be a mentor, like the Philip....

As a comedian, you want people to like you. That's part of why you're there in the first place: You have....

I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.

Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know....

It sounds so nerdy and pathetic, but what I always do on Sunday afternoon is bring my inbox down to zero,....

I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought,....

Someone said to me at a party once, 'Oh, yeah, you're a comedian? Then how come you're not funny now?'....

My first car was, as depicted in 'Sleepwalk with Me,' my mother's '92 Volvo station wagon that had 80,000....

You can't go to medical school and come out and be like, 'I'm going to be a dog catcher.' That would....

Starbucks is the last public space with chairs. It's a shower for homeless people. And it's a place you....