Quotes by : Robert Clark

Always buy pornographic books in hardback because they're easier to hold with one hand.

When asked why I don't believe in God I reply, quite simply, "vaginas".

I was very surprised when last I bought a packet of cigarettes and had to request a refund as I read....

The government are tightening up on ID for sales of tobacco and alcohol so I recommend that young people....

I have always been homosexual and it surprises me that more people are not women's pink bits are moist....

I am completely opposed to the British National Party I couldn't possibly support people who find fluorescent....

Delia Smith needs to realise that when Nigella flirts with the camera she comes across as a slut. When....

I am with the Hot Sexy Banking Corporation. As all the other banks are going bust, they are just getting....

Above all others I pity the homeless: where can they go to masturbate?

Yes, you may ask my name but only if you can tell me: are your thighs as fine as a fresh, crisp morning....