Quotes by : Spike Milligan

(On his gravestone): "I told you I was ill".

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have....

Some people live a nothing life: the most important thing they ever do is die. Thank God for eccentrics!....

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,I'll draw a sketch of thee.What kind of pencil shall I use?2B or not 2B?

...Roberts had joined the Royal Artillery in 1914 and since then had steadily risen to the rank of Gunner.....

My father was my greatest inspiration. He was a lunatic.

Money can't buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy.

Money can't buy friends but you can get a better class of enemy.

The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a....