Quotes Tagged With :humor

Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, So ... Love the people who treat you right and....

Oh, I usually pray in Spanish, speak French to my boyfriend, curse in Dutch, and talk German to my German....

The women in the kitchen took turns making a fuss over the baby, acting like it was their job to keep....

There is nothing morally wrong with buying stolen goods, unless you know that they were stolen.

People being tough with you doesn't mean they're villains.

He’s my new partner JJ and I don’t think he likes you very much. Last guy he took a dislike to still....

She's too young for Medicare and too old for me to care.

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my....

In my opinion, too much attention to weather makes for instability of character.

I don't understand how people canstand next to you one year,and next year, they cannot. They're going....