Quotes by : Amy Schumer

Sometimes I want to quit - not performing, but being a woman altogether. I want to throw my hands in....

I got out of the shower and stopped to look at myself in the mirror. I looked blotchy and messy and not....

Women are always expected to be the gracious hostess, quick with an anecdote and a sprinkling of laughter....

I think for anyone to become good at something, they have to fail a lot too. And they have to be completely....

Don't be afraid to excuse yourself. Recharge for as long as you need. Lean up against a tree and take....

I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say. I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong.....

One of the comics said he thought I was talented but wouldn't ever make it as a stand-up. It hurt. Looking....

Isn't it funny that they say most girls have daddy issues, when really, every dude does?

Like literally, the final moments of life come to mind when I begin to love someone. I think, Will this....

Love yourself! You don’t need a man or a boy or a self-proclaimed love expert to tell you what you’re....