Quotes by : Ellen DeGeneres

Why is it that when you wipe up dust its called dusting but when you wipe up a spill its not called spilling?....

I'm grateful for everything. I'm grateful for my health, and I'm so grateful for the love in my life.....

I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I....

I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we....

The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens.....

When you take risks you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when....

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?....

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there are a lot of self righteous people out there. And if you try....

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form....

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.