Quotes by : Finley Peter Dunne

I see gr-reat changes takin' place ivry day but no change at all ivry fifty years.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

The time is comin' whin not more thin hath iv us'll be rale an' th' rest'll be rubber (plastic!)

Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

Whin a man gets to be my age he ducks political meetin's an' reads th' papers an' weighs th' ividence....

A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support....

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better -- it is just turning around as usual.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls....