Quotes by : George Carlin

Life is tough, then you die.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

But when you're in front of an audience and you make them laugh at a new idea, you're guiding the whole....

It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class....

This is a lttle prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to....

He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things....

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with....

There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.

Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different.....