Quotes by : Jeff Foxworthy

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked....

If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world,....

For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's....

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know....

If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.....

We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And....

Nothing in life prepares you to be famous.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third,....