Quotes by : Larry David

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they....

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because....

The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because....

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

I'd like to start a family but you have to have a date first.

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being....

Women love a self-confident bald man.

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're....