Quotes by : Larry David

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they....

Golf and dating don't mix.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

I'd like to start a family but you have to have a date first.

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being....

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're....