Quotes by : Larry David

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out.

Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they....

I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because....

There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.

The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because....

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas.

I'd like to start a family but you have to have a date first.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being....

Women love a self-confident bald man.