Quotes by : Lewis Black

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.

Just relax and breathe through your ass.

I continue to work on plays, but I've always felt that you could put a note in a bottle and send it offshore,....

All food is comfort food. Maybe I just like to chew.

Who knew that the devil had a factory where he made millions of fossils, which his minions distributed....

And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course.....

One of the interesting things about comedy is it's tension release, and nothing creates tension faster....

My parents are the last of the middle class. My father worked for the government designing sea mines.....

I'm not a big birthday guy I never have been.

A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars.....