Quotes by : Melvin Helitzer

When asked to contribute ten dollars to a lawyer's funeral I said: "Here's fifty. Bury five of them."....

Enjoy how sweet how thoughtful how kind I'm being on your birthday. Because tomorrow it's back to the....

I sort of feel like Cindy Crawford's new husband on their wedding night. I know what's expected of me.....

One thing I can guarantee you. You may not be a great deal wiser from my talk today but you will be....

I'd like to introduce a man with a lot of charm talent and wit. Unfortunately he couldn't be here....