Quotes by : Milton Berle

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

I can't tell you his age but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient