Quotes by : Milton Berle

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

I can't tell you his age but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

I'd like to tell you some jokes now but you'd only laugh.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient