Quotes by : Paula Poundstone

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat.....

There are those wonderful moments of clarity in life when one is reminded how irreparably flawed we humans....

Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just....

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.

I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over....

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of....

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with....

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

It is my wish to die of unique causes, perhaps in a high-speed tricycle crash, a bizarre stapling incient,....