Quotes by : Robert Orben

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

I take my children everywhere but they always find their way back home.

It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator.

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my....

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern....

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not....

We're supposed to take our problems to a family adviser. Personally I've never met a family adviser.....