Quotes by : Robert Orben

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate....

What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not....

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there,....

My wife never lies about her age. She just tells everyone she's as old as I am. Then she lies about my....

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

It's amazing how important your job is when you want the day off - and how unimportant it is when you....

Have you noticed when you go on a diet the first thing you lose is your temper.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?....