Quotes by : St. John Morris

On the other side of St John’s house is a fake egg timer who can’t maintain an erection. He shares....

This particular event had been somewhat more raucous than usual as Derek Jameson had just lost an arm....

Beetroot Cossins had moved to Kuala Lumpur where she had died of lethargy and pie.

Private Benjamin lives next door but one to Bob Cryer from The Bill. I once saw him crouching down behind....

St John had been sitting in the back garden twizzling a pencil, on the end of which a russet deposit....

There was Arctic John, a businessman from Salisbury who doesn’t hold water, Bruce Knott, a social worker....

You little prick. It's a whelk...it's a...it's a...dead whelk!

Tobak Davenport, who is a cross between some Sugar Puffs and Lynn Faulds-Wood, was squatting there before....

Oh yeah, well I suddenly realises that she’d only been with my boyfriend at the Co-op Christmas do....

The Macedonian Endeavour Channel was screening live coverage of the world series of the Who’s Got the....