Quotes by : W.C. Fields

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

I was in love with a beautiful blond once. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm indebted to....

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people....

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.