Quotes by : Brian Celio

When I left high school with my diploma, it felt like I was holding a key that would unlock the door....

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?

I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.

Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two....

Fire is no laughing matter. In a drunken attempt to appear womanly, my neighbor tried to burn her pubes....

A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans....

History, lie of our lives, mire of our loins. Our sins, our souls. Hiss-tih-ree: the tip of the pen taking....

Just because you're scarred for life doesn't mean you should be scared to live.

I wish my nose would blow me for once.

As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.