Quotes by : Eugene Mirman

Of course, to avoid getting stuck in that convo with someone you dislike or feel uncomfortable around,....

High School: Oh, man. This is where boys and girls go from tweens to teens and become complicated and....

Do whatever you want. Break stuff, touch your penis or boobs to anything, whatever.

Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.

Entertainment is business: the business of fucking art in the face.

The other thing you can do is write a strong personal essay which lets admissions people inside your....

Prom night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that....

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever....

Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens....

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.....