Quotes by : Eugene Mirman

Some PR is about getting information about a great product or thingy out to the people who would enjoy....

Do whatever you want. Break stuff, touch your penis or boobs to anything, whatever.

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job. (You're....

If things are really overwhelming and you need to talk, you can give me a call at 347-273-2044.

Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.

Entertainment is business: the business of fucking art in the face.

The other thing you can do is write a strong personal essay which lets admissions people inside your....

Prom night can be a special night, if you let it be. I know you think it's for losers and something that....

Over the years I've received thousands of e-mails looking for guidance. Some have real problems some....

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.....