Quotes by : Eugene Mirman

Of course, to avoid getting stuck in that convo with someone you dislike or feel uncomfortable around,....

Some PR is about getting information about a great product or thingy out to the people who would enjoy....

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job. (You're....

Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.

The other thing you can do is write a strong personal essay which lets admissions people inside your....

Never give in to peer pressure, especially if the peer is not attractive.

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever....

Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens....

Over the years I've received thousands of e-mails looking for guidance. Some have real problems some....

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.....