Quotes by : Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and....

(A gentleman) is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

California is a fine place to live, if you happen to be an orange.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask....