Quotes by : Fred Allen

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

All I know about humour is that I don't know anything about it.

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask....

She used to be a schoolteacher but she has no class now.

I have just returned from Boston it is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

My agent gets 10 percent of everything I get except the blinding headaches.