Quotes by : Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats then we go to church on Sunday and....

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed.

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for movie stars.

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange....

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

I have just returned from Boston it is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.