Quotes by : Jacob M. Appel

If God wanted teenagers to be abstinent, puberty would begin at twenty.

Be optimistic. Always put on clean underwear if you're going on a date.

Never make enemies of anyone younger or healthier than you are. They write your history.

Arnold had never given much thought to whether or not he loved America—but now it seemed pretty obvious....

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises........

Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.

I used to dream of true love; now I'm open to false, but convincing....

That was the heart of the problem: every choice made sense from some vantage point.

Nixon’s offences had been so long in the past, so much part of a different era that he now seemed like....

The boss is never your friend, even if you're sleeping with him.