Quotes by : Jacob M. Appel

The only thing more difficult than persuading someone else to start having sex with you is persuading....

If you give a man a hammer, he thinks he can solve all problems by pounding. Well, God gave men penises........

Choose old people for enemies. They die. You win.

Marriage is like a series of opposing reflections, inverse images getting ever smaller like nesting dolls,....

Life is nasty, brutish, and short. Death is easy.

A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals....

That was the heart of the problem: every choice made sense from some vantage point.

Battery Park resonates with lust as the sun approaches its zenith. A primal impulse takes hold of the....

Patriotism is being convinced your country is better because you were born in it.

Know your load. That’s rule numero uno in this business, which is why I make them count the penguins....