Quotes by : Joseph Heller

My fish dream is a sex dream.

It doesn't make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who's dead.

But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge....

The captain was a good chess player, and the games were always interesting. Yossarian had stopped playing....

Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny; call....

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.

That goddam stunted, red-faced, big-cheeked, apple-cheeked, curlyheaded, midget assed, , google-eyed,....

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.

There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.

-You have no respect for excessive authority or obsolete traditions. You're dangerous and depraved, and....