Quotes by : Phyllis Diller

We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months....

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

It's a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I'd be rotten to the core.

I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread....

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Cleaning your house while your children are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops....