Quotes by : Phyllis Diller

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love,....

Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Cleaning your house while your children are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops....

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.