Quotes by : Phyllis Diller

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

Housework won't kill you, but then again, why take the chance?

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant,....

I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.