Quotes by : Rita Rudner

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of....

Whenever I date a guy, I think, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?'

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Men like cars women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.

Men like cars women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman....

Men like cars women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better.....

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and boughr....

I love to sleep. Do you? Isn't it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and....