Quotes by : Steven Wright

Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'....

When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember....

A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space.....

I feel very lucky to make a living from my imagination I'm very grateful for that. I like that what I....

The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there,....