Quotes by : Woody Allen

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right.

Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: "At the end of an interrogation....

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared....

If I could only see one miracle just one miracle. Like a burning bush or the seas part or my uncle....

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there....

Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college,

The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.....