Quotes by : Woody Allen

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have instead of what you don't have.

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared....

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy next....

I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect but I still love him.

Is sex dirty? Only if it is done right.

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.