Quotes by : Carl Hiaasen

As far as I'm concerned, the gator that ate T.C. deserves a medal from Crime Stoppers.

My father's a large man, very strong, but he says fighting is for people who can't win with their brains.....

That's the thing about being a Labrador retriever - you were born for fun. Seldom was your loopy, freewheeling....

My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox.....

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about....

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.....

He paused and manufactured a chuckle.

I’m waiting for the day when Rush Limbaugh’s pharmacist writes a book.

Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.

Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.