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Author - Henny Youngman
Quotes by : Henny Youngman
Afford
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
humorous
I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.
New York
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?
Woman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Me
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Money
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Earnest
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Marriage
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.....
humorous
I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.
religion
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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