Quotes by : Henny Youngman

I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock.

I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.

I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.

My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad but New York City?

She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.

I wanted to become an atheist but I gave it up. They have no holidays.

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win. -Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (1906-1998)....

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say.

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection,....