Quotes by : Jerry Seinfeld

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

It's good to play and you must keep in practice.

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my....

Well, all comedy starts with anger. You get angry, and its never for a good reason, right? You know its....

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

The best revenge is living well.

Nobody enjoys the 'little show about nothing' humor more than me, but that is never the way I look at....

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know.....

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?