Quotes by : Jerry Seinfeld

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

I don't understand women at all. Like how a women can pour boiling hot wax onto their upper thigh, then....

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something....

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

A bookstore is one of the many pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know.....

You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow....