Quotes by : Jerry Seinfeld

Once you start doing only what you've already proven you can do, you're on the road to death.

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

It's good to play and you must keep in practice.

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

Keep your head up in failure, and your head down in success.

I was the best man at the wedding. So why is she marrying him?

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and....

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where....

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

We want to do a lot of stuff we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little....