Quotes by : Louis C. K.

If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that....

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually....

Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.....

When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just....

The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.

When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.

I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent....

When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while....