Quotes by : Louis C. K.

If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that....

Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.

Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually....

America's a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really....

I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at.

Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff.....

The problem is, the more famous you get, the more people see you who didn't choose to.

You gotta be optimistic to be single. Stupid! You have to be stupid. That's what optimistic means, you....

I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent....