Quotes by : Robert Benchley

Go jogging? And get hit by a meteor?

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things and I have succeeded fairly well.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.....

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length....

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.

There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.

The problem of what to wear while lolling about the house on a Sunday afternoon is becoming more and....

Streets flooded. Please advise.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing but I couldn't give it up because by....

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.