Quotes by : Robert Benchley

Go jogging? And get hit by a meteor?

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

New York - The city where the people from Oshkosh look at the people from Dubuque in the next theater....

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length....

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.....

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because....

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing but I couldn't give it up because by....

Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.