Quotes by : Stephen Colbert

All weather is sin-related. Lust causes thunder, anger causes fog, and you don't want to know what causes....

So, a word to all you Femin-Idi-Amins: Stop “liberating” moms by trying tomake them join the workforce.....

A father has to be a provider, a teacher, a role model, but most importantly, a distant authority figure....

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.

Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty.....

I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about....

So my heart goes out to them. Figuratively. I would never actually entrust my heart to scientists—they'd....

If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their....

Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion.Stephen Colbert:....

If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough?....