Quotes by : Stephen Colbert

In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to....

There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.....

Religion forces every individual to take responsibility. Specifically, take it away from yourself and....

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't....

In God's eyes all children are beautiful but here on earth we have higher standards.

If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that....

Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.....

I am no fan of books. And chances are, if you're reading this, you and I share a healthy skepticism about....

When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around in a quitter.