Quotes by : David Sedaris

Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone....

When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when....

Randall, the gay alcoholic in the house next door, boldly peeps through my windows. 'Boy, you sure rock....

At the end of a miserable day, instead of grieving my virtual nothing, I can always look at my loaded....

My confessions did nothing to alter this situation, but for the first time in my life I felt that somebody....

If I'm walking down an American street and anyone darker than a peanut shell approaches, I'll say, "Hello."....

I'd think it strange that the boardinghouse attracted both him and me, but that's what cheap places do....

I like the trail that the Internet created. For example, I was watching one of those Douglas Sirk movies,....

It bothered me that the bag bothered me more than head did, but what are you going to do? A person doesn't....

Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at."When asked....